I never thought I would ever have to write something like this, well I knew I would some day but I expected that to be in 15 years or so but here I am crying all over my keyboard typing that our poor baby Freyja has crossed the rainbow bridge. . .
I still do not feel like it has happened, but yet I do in that my heart is broken. Yesterday was like any other day until 1:03am when Freyja who was sleeping on the sofa started to have a fit, not 20 minuets prior to this she was playing with her little sister Valla and everything was fine. . .
She was laying next to her Daddy at the time who at first thought she was twitching in her sleep but the twitching got worse and worse very quickly until she was having a full blown fit. We held her still. I could not stop crying (you all see why I am not a vet now) where my other half was strong and remained calm. I called the emergency vets who agreed to see her. I got Audrey dressed and out of bed and off we went to the vets. By time we got there it was 1:15am and she was still fitting. . .
The vet took her into the treatment room, my partner and I went with her. Not long after that she had a final spasm abut she did not come back to us, she remained floppy and lifeless bar that she was breathing. The vet checked her eyes and everything to see if there was any brain function, there was not. . . We waited a while and the vet tried various things to bring her round and nothing was working. . . Not long after that the vet told us that the only thing we could do would be to have her put to sleep as Freyja was no longer with us, she left for the rainbow bridge however her basic functions were unaware of this. . .
Freyja's daddy could not cope with it when they took her collar off which we had put on her the first day she came home and left the room. I stayed as I felt she wanted me there. I hugged her and told her how much we all love her as she drifted off. . .
It started to rain the second I walked into the reception to tell my other half it was over. . . Audrey said the angles were crying.
I have no idea what happened to trigger this attack. She was sleeping like such a good girl when it all happened. . .
When we came home and got Valla out of her crate she ran around looking for her friend. I think to some extent she blames me as she sat down the hall from me when I was holding Freyja while she was fitting. When I looked at her she ran away.
Valla is still looking for her sister, she calls for her and gets no reply. Harry, Elspeth and Rudi know something is wrong but I suppose my partner and I not being able to stop crying gives that one away. I wish I could explain it to them but I know it would still hurt them if I could as it hurts me.
This whole post is just such a big mess. . . I just thought I should tell everyone now and not when you all enquire about how she is. It would also be silly for me to pick a wound which I hope will heal with time though I never take deaths of animals well. . .
Here are the last photos of our baby who we often referred to as 'the black barron' who would have epic battles over socks with 'the blonde barron' being Valla.
I hope she know show much we love her and that we will never, ever stop loving her. Daddy's little Frey-tot. . .
Oh Elina, I'm so sorry!
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke for you and the others when I read this.
She'll be waiting for you and the others at the bridge, and then you can all cross together.
I've been reading your site for a while and love hearing about the antics of the various foxes. I'm sorry to read about Freyja. What in the world could have happened? She seemed like a healthy Red fox. I hope the rest of your little foxes will help you through this tough time.
ReplyDeleteI am no expert in any field or anybody that you will know, but I want you to know how deeply sorry for you I am. I also want you to know that I've been using your foxes as models for my art A levels, and seeing how you cared for them as truly touched me.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to find me, ask for Leokisomma, but I think that little Freyja already found her piece of heaven on Earth. You gave it to her.
Ave Atque Vale Freyja (hail and farewell).
She was so beautiful. I wish there was some way to comfort you. I am so very sorry.
ReplyDeleteThis grieves me deeper than when some of my family died of old age. I have longed to be with and at least meet a fox of some kind. I used to think red-fox for years. Recently I got to understand and love Corsac foxes far greater. Being over here in Washington state it seems hopeless though. The regulations and loopholes not to mention my family thinks I am nuts seeking a fox. At times I have just wanted to be a fox I feel like one so deep down. I think that that deep feeling is what bonds us to them. That twitching reminds me of the time we had a kittens break its neck in the refrigerator door.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible that somehow the fox got neck damage. Possible rough housing, bending it in the wrong position. It is hard to tell. My father told me that animals don't have souls and won't go to heaven. It is just so hard to agree with him on that. I can agree they don't have souls like humans do. But they have like this connection to our own soul somehow that creates a bond that can be so strong that at times we may want to lay down our life to save our pets.
Yet foxes are so much more than pets they are close friends like family. By the way my on-line name is Allenfox.